Introducing Your Child To Your New Partner

It has been a few years and mom and dad are ready to date again. When should the kids be introduced to the new man or woman in your life? Here are some tips for doing just that.

Take it slow. Kids, depending on their age, take time to adjust. They may feel that the new partner is trying to replace the missing parent. Reassure your kids that this is not the case.

Show them a picture of your new partner. Tell them interesting things about the person. Answer any questions that they may have regarding him or her.

When the kids are ready to meet this person, choose a neutral place. Children may feel that another adult in the house threatens them in some way. They are ready for you to date, but not ready to see another potential parent figure in their home.

Go to a movie that everyone can enjoy and have dinner afterwards. Each person gets to talk to each other and the kids get to know the new partner. As a parent, watch your partner with the kids. Observe how they interact and how they deal with different situations. The next day, ask your kids what they thought of the person. Take their feedback to heart when deciding on the next step in the relationship.

Prepare your partner for some hostility when they come over to the house. You don’t expect the kids to act rudely, but they need to adjust to the new person. On the other hand, inform the children that your partner is coming over and what you expect from them. If the kids have any objections, during your conversation is the time to get those feelings out in the open so they can be addressed.

To make the meeting not so formal, host a cookout at the house. Invite friends and family over so they can meet the new person in your life. Let the kids get a chance to interact with the new partner before the festivities begin. The kids get the opportunity to settle in with him or her but the cookout keeps the pressure off of them to spend the entire evening with your partner.

Don’t force a meeting for the sake of the relationship. Tell your partner up front that your kids come first. You want the relationship to work but not at the kids' expense. When the kids are ready to meet, then the meeting will take place.

Along these same lines, if you have to break a date due to the kids needing your attention, schedule an alternate time. Don’t just let the date go by forgotten. If you value both relationships, be flexible in the scheduling. The kids will see that you do care about this person and them at the same time.

Introducing your child to your new partner is important. They will become a part of the child’s life as well as yours. Don’t be impatient about the meeting. When the time is right, it will happen.