Should You Set Time Limits On Your Child's Goals?
As adults, we often set time limits on our goals. Doing so provides us with added motivation. It also gives us something to measure our progress by.
Setting goals for kids is somewhat different from setting them for adults. It is important to make them fun, and kids' goals are usually less serious than those of grown-ups. There is some debate as to whether or not we should set time limits on our children's goals.
Arguments For and Against Time Limits
Some goals come with their own time limits. A child may want to save up enough money to buy a sibling something nice for his birthday, for example. This type of goal needs to be achieved before the birthday rolls around.
Other goals do not have built-in time limits. But without a time limit, a goal could drag on indefinitely. And that would do little to promote motivation in the child who set the goal.
A problem with time limits is caused by their very nature: They are limiting. If a child doesn't attain his goal by the allotted time, it can be very discouraging. He might give up, and he may begin to dislike goal setting altogether.
How to Find a Happy Medium
One solution could be to offer incentives if your child achieves the goal by a set deadline. This provides motivation while leaving the door open to keep trying even if he doesn't achieve the goal on time. So if your child achieves his goal by the deadline, he would be rewarded. If he doesn't make the deadline but does eventually reach his goal, he would get praise but no tangible reward.
If you do choose to set a time limit on a goal, it's important to be somewhat flexible. If the deadline arrives and the child has not reached the goal but has made significant progress, for example, you might consider extending it a little. Alternatively, you could give him the opportunity to rethink what he needs to do to achieve the goal. Then he could start over and try again with a fresh approach.
In general, not setting a time limit is better than setting one that is too long or too short. A time limit that is too short only serves to discourage. One that is too long fails to motivate your child. If you don't set a time limit, there is at least a chance that he will feel the need to impose one on himself or reach the goal as quickly as possible.
Whether or not to set time limits on kids' goals is up to each individual set of parents. It is important to motivate your child, yet you don't want to push him too hard. In this case, somewhere in the middle is often the best place to be.
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